Friday, January 1, 2021

Take the leap.

It's strange how the simplest things can trigger so many emotions in a person. To people who aren't well-versed in Korean dramas, this showbiz news will mean absolutely nothing, but the stars of 'Crash Landing on You', Hyun Bin and Son Ye-jin, announced today that they are in a relationship. And this, of course, brought back all of my CLOY feelings once again.

When I started watching CLOY, I really didn't understand the hype. Hyun Bin isn't my kind of oppa and the story was super farfetched. I found myself rolling my eyes a lot of the time, too. But if I'm being completely honest, I also cried. A lot. To the point where my pillow was you-can-wring-the-tears-out-of-it wet. I even wrote a blog post about Captain Ri after watching it.

See, while I'd like people to believe that I'm a heartless, emotionless, careless bitch; the truth is that I'm a softie and a hopeless romantic at heart. I pretend to be Little Miss Strong and Independent, but the truth is I dream of having an "oppa" of my own. Someone who will be there for me, no matter what. Someone who accepts that I have a strong facade but who will let me melt into his arms and cry on his shoulder on bad days. Someone who knows that I spend 80% of my time working and doing things for myself but who will spend the other 20% being silly and being lazy with me. Someone I can drink on a beach with as we watch the sunset and talk about the most random things. Someone who doesn't need me to constantly post stuff about him, but whose existence is known. Someone who accepts that I'm a geek, a nerd, a workaholic, and above all things, a mother - and who won't judge me or make me feel bad for being all of those things.

The thing is: I know who this person is. I have a clear vision of him in my head. I know who I want this to be. He just doesn't see me in the same way. Which brings me to why CLOY had such an impact on me. There were so many quotes in it that resonated with my pretend-ice-cold heart: from Se-ri wondering if Captain Ri is pining for her the way she is pining for him to Se-ri realizing that even if she had to go back a hundred times, she would still choose to meet Captain Ri despite everything.

The characters' emotions in the show were real and relatable even though the storyline as a whole wasn't (lol), and I think I repeatedly said I hated the show because they were able to do things that I couldn't: take risks in love and jump headfirst into situations - screw the consequences.

There's one line in particular that haunts me to this day. (Naks. "Haunts" talaga?!??) In Episode 14, Captain Ri says, "Even if I have to worry about losing you every day, I want to have you in my life. Even if it breaks my heart because it's a dream that can't come true, I'd like to sincerely dream of the future." Despite knowing that there was no chance for them to be together, he still put his heart on the line. And I feel like this is something I need to learn to do in order to be happy. I constantly find myself holding back from saying things I want to because I don't want to "ruin the friendship" or "lose someone important in my life", but I am also realizing that this mentality isn't getting me anywhere.

This 2021, I hope for the courage not to be afraid to take a leap and for the strength to tell you how I feel. After all, life's too short to worry about things not going as planned. In other words... mahalin mo na ako, please. :p

Sunday, December 6, 2020

Check Out These Creative Ways to Have Fun with Your Kids During the Pandemic

Is quarantine getting you and your kids down? With limited options of fun, you might have run out of ideas on how to keep the family entertained. Well, to help fellow struggling parents out, Jack 'n Jill Knots has launched Club Knots, a Facebook page dedicated to providing creative and fun activities that you and your kids can do together.

Club Knots offers unique ideas for arts and crafts. The page will feature video tutorials that moms, dads, and their little ones can watch together to guide them in co-creating creative playtime tools.

Check out inspired ideas like Elephant Puffs, Shadow Play, and more. Bonding moments at home are going to be more creative and fun with these activities while enjoying yummy Choco Knots, Berry Knots, and Milky Knots.

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Follow Club Knots on Facebook and get started with your family-time creative projects today!

Choco Knots, Milky Knots, and Berry Knots are products of Universal Robina Corporation (URC), makers of C2, Piattos, Cloud 9, Magic Crackers, and many other well-loved Pinoy products. URC products can be bought in supermarkets, groceries, convenience stores, and sari-sari stores nationwide.

Saturday, November 28, 2020

I re-watched 'Dawson's Creek' for the first time in 20+ years.

I first watched 'Dawson's Creek' when I was 10 years old. That was pre-teen me. Innocent, clueless, and with a lust to experience the teenage world. I remember falling madly in love with Pacey Witter - manly, caring, and cute - and wishing I would grow up to be just like Jen Lindley - effortlessly beautiful, fashionable, and wise beyond her years. I was so obsessed with the show, I even took notes while watching it, typed the script in our clunky new computer on MS-DOS, and saved it into diskettes. I even bought the original soundtrack and the books, and I remember reading them to my sister on our bunk bed at night.

I hadn't watched 'Dawson's Creek' again since then, though. I never got the DVDs. I never made an effort to stream it. I never even thought about it much. In fact, I completely forgot the show existed until I saw it on the 'Coming Soon' section on Netflix. The nostalgia sank in, the butterflies fluttered in my stomach, and I watched it the minute it came out. Here's what I discovered:

They didn't sound the way that I remembered.

When Dawson Leery first spoke, I was a little shocked. I didn't remember him having that kind of voice. And then I realized we lived in Germany when I was 10 and we watched it dubbed in German. That's right. I never watched 'Dawson's Creek' in English. Lol. It took me a while to get used to how whiny everybody sounded; and to be honest, I was a bit surprised by how whiny everybody in the show was, in general. Was Dawson always that annoying? Was Joey? I remember my sister loving Joey back in the day... but why?

I grew up to be nothing like Jen Lindley.

As much as I adored Jen, I didn't grow up to be like her. You'd think that if you idolize someone, you'll do your best to be more like them... but that clearly isn't what happened. In fact, I didn't even grow up to Joey. I grew up to be... Andie McPhee.

It's sad to admit that while watching her on the screen now, but she is me. I am her. I can't find a single thing about Andie that I cannot relate to. I was a nerd. I was obsessed with getting good grades and I applied to a gazillion colleges... not because I wanted to go there, but just because I wanted to see if I could get in (this is a toxic trait I still have to this day). I even have a gay brother!

And then there's the mental illness. 'Dawson's Creek' sucked at portraying mental illness (and homosexuality while we're at it) to be honest, but the fact that she had one hit far too close to me. I just wish I had someone like Pacey, too. Though the way Andie ended up handling that... I can already see how things might've panned out for me if I had a Pacey of my own.

I would probably date Dawson in real life.

I loved Pacey and I still do now that I'm rewatching it. But let's be honest: a geeky Spielberg-loving filmmaker with a room that looks like all of the rooms I've ever had? Dawson is the geek of my dreams. He just needs a new haircut.

'Dawson's Creek' touched on so many issues.

All I really remember about 'Dawson's Creek' - the title song aside - is that it was fun to watch. I never remembered it as a "serious" show. In fact, whenever I talk to people about coming-of-age series, I always talk about how much I miss 'The OC' and 'One Tree Hill' because they portrayed the sad realities of teenage life well. It turns out 'Dawson's Creek' did that, too. They've got everything in there: wild sex lives, peer pressure, divorce, scandals with teachers (lol), suicide, homosexuality, mental illness... though I am still just on Season 2 at the moment and that's when I realized...

I never finished the show.

This makes sense, really. We left Germany a mere year after 'Dawson's Creek' first aired. I was 12 and on the verge of experiencing real teenage life for myself. By the time we moved to the Philippines for my first couple of high school years, I was so immersed in the transition to teenagehood and discovering boys and first kisses and first heartbreaks that I didn't make time to watch shows on TV anymore. I am in the second half of Season 2 at the moment and have no idea how this show is going to pan out.

I hope Pacey doesn't get back together with Andie, though. He deserves better.