Thursday, July 12, 2012

Movie Review: Magic Mike

Let me tell you now: this movie review is not for (straight) guys. Nor is the movie itself.

When I first saw the poster of "Magic Mike", I didn't care about it very much. See, topless men don't interest me, unless I find at least one of them remotely attractive. And, well, I didn't find any of them remotely attractive at the time. True story.


But then I watched "21 Jump Street" on DVD. And I suddenly cared. Maybe a bit too much. (And by that, I mean I started YouTubing all things Channing Tatum and almost died when I saw the YouTube video of him and my so-called Hollywood lookalike Charlyne Yi do a skit on "Dirty Dancing".) P.S. This was the first Channing movie I had ever watched. I know now that I am missing out. Give me time to catch up.

Anyway, after "21 Jump Street", "Magic Mike" could no longer come sooner. I anticipated it more than "The Amazing Spider-Man". And coming from me, that's really saying something.
So, I'm really glad that Jacky - the Alex Pettyfer fan - agreed to watch it with me on the day it came out (which was yesterday).


Before I actually saw the movie, I was telling people that they were just marketing the movie as a Chippendales free-for-all through the movie poster to get the ladies to watch, but the trailer seemed like there was actually a good story behind it.

Well, I was totally wrong. It was a Chippendales free-for-all. In fact, this movie is to ladies what porn is to men. And I definitely don't have any complaints.

So, what can you expect from this movie?

1. Topless men.


2. (Covered) penis flapping.


3. Delicious naked male butts.


4. Sexual innuendos.


5. Men sexily grinding the screen.


6. Dry-humping.


7. Topless men with delicious naked butts sexily grinding the screen in costumes.


Like I said: like porn to men. But possibly better.

As such, I will reiterate that straight men will not enjoy this. At all. If you are straight and you actually find this movie enjoyable, then you'd better re-think those sexual preferences you are pretending to have. :p

But, seriously: there is a story to this movie. And it's actually based on Channing Tatum's real life back when he was 18. But, also seriously: I don't care.

I just want them to show this on the big screen in 3D.

My rating? 10 popcorns out of 5. And the popcorn just keeps on coming coz this movie is delicious. I also heard that "Magic Mike 2" is in the making! True story.

By the way, I was telling Jacky how low-budget the movie must have been (found out it was $7 million), but that they'd probably make a ton on horny single moms alone (they made $77 million). Moral of the story: hot topless men are money-making machines.

Ladies, watch the movie. That is my only conclusion.

12 comments:

  1. k, i haven't seen this yet! had no clue what it was about til recently. one friend told me is was kind of a "dark" movie??

    [oomph.]

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  2. Watched it too! "penis flapping" haha funny! was kilig the whole time.

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  3. He was a stripper before he was an actor. He's got some skills! :)

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  4. cant wait to watch!!

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  5. I definitely got that same urge to watching anything I could get my hands on that featured Tatum; the man is a piece of art! 21 Jumpstreet was an awesome movie! I hear they are already making a second one. Hooray! His other movies, like The Vow and Dear John are super corny, but that’s ok; I just watch them without sound. LOL! Luckily, I have the Blockbuster@Home service through my Dish account that delivers all these movies to me with no extra charge for Blu-rays, since I like my Tatum to come in the highest definition possible. I can’t wait for Magic Mike to be on Blu-ray so I can snatch it up too. When I saw it in theaters, I was foolish enough to go with a few Dish coworkers, who are all on the reserved side, so I was a little too embarrassed to really let loose with all the other ladies in the audience!

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  6. Strange as it may sound, Magic Mike's male stripper money shots are less a celebration of Tatum and company's impressive pecs and abs and more the jaded reflections of an artist who's lost faith in his career choices.
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