I was talking to some friends recently about the types of guys that we fall in love with and I was adamant in saying that I don't have a certain 'type'.
They begged to differ, though, and when I asked what my 'type' is, they answered at the same time - but both with different answers. One said 'basketball player' and the other said 'singer'.
After that, it was an ongoing debate as to why basketball players and singers keep breaking my heart.
glasses from Four Eyes / pink shirt from Pink Fashion / Harry Potter Time Turner necklace from Fandom Trinkets / black scarf from Ensembles / black shorts from Dorothy Perkins / beige flats from J&M
During this debate, though, I realised that I recently dated a guy that I had very strong feelings for who was neither a basketball player or a singer. And so I came to this conclusion: it doesn't matter who you date. He can be a basketball player, a singer, a soldier, a drug addict, a computer geek, a med student, a bum or even the father of your child. At the end of the day, he will break your heart anyway. (Sorry, is that too harsh?)
So, what's my point? My point is this: fuck men. Now, I'm not telling you not to date and not to fall in love or anything. I'm just saying that you should always be prepared for them to break your heart, no matter what people label a guy as.
Most importantly: don't ever love a man more than you love yourself (unless he's your son). Always love yourself more. And always love your friends more - the real ones… the ones who will listen to you whine without (or at least with minimal) judgement and who will be there even after assholes break your heart.
At the end of the day, they are the ones you will be able to rely on to get through the pain and the hurt. Well, them and a whole lot of alcohol.
Besides, if you don't give your entire self wholeheartedly and wholemindedly to someone, you will have a much easier time moving on. It won't be easy-easy (it never is!), but you won't waste too much of your time and effort trying to move on that way.
Awkward face is awkward.
Another thing I've learned while trying to move on? Keep yourself busy - with work, the NBA playoffs, gymming and other people's company. With enough time, your broken heart will heal and that basketball player/singer/soldier/drug addict/computer geek/ med student/bum/babydaddy will become a mere thing of the past and just another story that you and your real friends laugh about.
Make smart choices. And re-watch How I Met Your Mother. That helps, too. :)
Photos by Gerry Robinson.