black aviator sunglasses from Ray-Ban / black Rolling Stones tank top and black floral skirt from Forever 21 / animal print boots from SM Parisian
I was hurt by a guy who ghosted me last year, so when this new guy swooped in and showered me with attention, I decided to forgo having friends and have nothing but him in my life. It's not that I didn't want to hang out with my friends anymore. It's just that he didn't like me hanging out with my friends.
He was the jealous type, so he didn't like it when I went out drinking - forget the fact that I only ever go out drinking with my girls and gay friends. I tried inviting him to go out drinking with us, too; but he also happened to be the socially inept type who couldn't look new people in the eye, let alone hold conversations with them.
I tried hanging out with my friends even though he didn't like it, but that just turned out being a whole lot more trouble than it was worth. There was a lot of screaming, explaining and more screaming, and then I started lying about being in bed getting ready to sleep just to hang out with them… until I got caught and there was more screaming, explaining and more screaming, that I just stopped going out to appease him and keep the waters calm.
My resting bitch face
Fast forward to the day things blew up and I learned that he had been cheating on me for months and there I was… without friends… and no one to talk to. That's when I realised that 'hoes over bros' really should be my mantra.
And so, that's how it has been ever since I started dating Julian. Fortunately, Julian is the sociable type, so I can bring him out with me and introduce him to practically anyone and he'll be able to hold his own.
In fact, I am proud to say that he gets along with my friends just great - so much so that he hangs out with us for hours on end, and the best part is that my friends don't see him as just 'the boyfriend' (you know the kind I mean: the one who's there, but doesn't wanna be there and looks like he just wants to leave).
Why am I talking about this? Why do I think this is important? Well, I've heard so many girl friends tell me they can't hang out because their boyfriends won't let them. Having been there, I just want to say: please don't let your boyfriends dictate your life.
You wanna hang out with your friends? Go hang out with your friends. You wanna dress a certain way? Dress however the heck you want to. Do you enjoy putting on makeup because it makes you feel better about yourself? Pack it on.
Why should you let a man dictate what you do or don't do? If you let your boyfriend control your life now, just imagine what it will be like years from now. Unless, of course, you don't see yourself with this guy in the long term… In which case, what are you even doing with him to begin with?
Remember: at the end of the day, your friends are who you've got. I'm just lucky mine welcomed me back with open arms and willingly worked with me at rebuilding our bonds, even though I ignored them for half a year. Don't let that happen to you. If you don't wanna lose your man, find some sort of compromise. Your life will be much happier if you find the right balance. :)