Sunday, January 28, 2018

Confessions of a Torpe Girl

Hi, I'm a torpe girl. I like to crush from afar.

Don't get me wrong. I'm no prude - far from it! - but a lot of the time, I only hook up with guys I don't really like. It's easy to talk to "regular" guys, after all.

But when it's someone I REALLY like? Geez. You'd cringe. One time, I was introduced to my biggest crush and I literally let out a piglet-like squeal and hid in a corner of the party for the rest of the night. Another time and another huge crush, I shook his hand when we were introduced and just didn't say anything at all.

Justin Bieber shirt from Oxygen / black shorts from Copper / glasses from Sunnies Specs / floral sneakers from Pony

There was even a time when a massive crush of mine walked into my go-to bar and I piglet-squealed (yet again), literally jumped up and down repeatedly in panic, texted all of my friends that he was in the vicinity, but didn't do anything.

Though that was a semi-success story in the end coz he eventually came up to me himself and we dated for a while - though, admittedly, my friends crafted most of my text messages when the whole thing started coz I iz awkward AF.


Sadly, when it comes to real crushes, I just don't know how to deal. Contrary to popular belief, I am NOT a go-getter in the boys department.

Not too long ago, I told myself I'd change that and successfully hung out with someone I really liked. We Netflixed. We cuddled (after a couple of hours of me being awkward, anyway). It was nice. Until bam. I realized it was a one-way street. He told me he liked someone else and I was back to square one.


Honestly, being torpe sucks. It's so hard to crush on someone, get kilig over the little things, not know how to act around them, and just wait for them to notice and to care. Coz let's face it: a lot of the time, they won't.

So, for those asking why I don't just stop talking about my current crush and make a move... well, I'm just not that kind of person. Truth, be told, I'm so awkward, it's painful to watch and hear about.

Besides, it's heartbreaking to crush and put yourself out there and get shot down in the end. It's easier to just crush from afar and hope that they'll come up to you and pursue you one day. That way, at least you won't look like an ass like I do most of the time. :p


Hi, I'm a torpe girl. And I will most probably die alone.


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